My youngest daughter, Evie, just turned 7 months old. Like most mothers, I often find myself reminiscing back to the day she was born. I did not do this is in a loving, nostalgic, motherly type of way for a long while.Her birth was truly traumatic. It’s been hard to put into words but I think I am finally ready. For several months after her preeclampsia birth it was hard for me to think about that day without feeling a sense of panic, let alone write about it.
The beginning of my pregnancy was similar to my first. Morning sickness, intense cravings, and insomnia. I was afflicted with the usual pregnancy symptoms but nothing serious. When I was around 6 months pregnant, I found out I was at risk for preeclampsia.
I was currently working at the local hospital as a PCA during COVID. In wake of this news, along with the pandemic, my husband and I decided it would be best if I finished my last 3 months of pregnancy at home. Reluctantly, I put in my 2 weeks and worked my last shifts as a PCA. I truly loved my job and those I worked with, but I knew I had to put my Evie first.
The next 2 months were fairly easy. I spent as much time as I could resting and spending all the quality time I could with my daughter. I went to all of my OB appointments and they all went fairly well. It wasn’t until I was around 32-34 weeks that preeclampsia caused things to go downhill.
I started experiencing extreme swelling in my entire body. My face, arms, legs, feet, ankles. The pregnancy glow quickly faded and I started to look like a different person. Every time I stood up, I would get dizzy and see spots. I began experiencing a level of tired that I had never felt before. I had worked night shift the past 2 years and still never experienced this level of exhaustion. It was a struggle doing the simplest of things. I truly feared something wasn’t right.
At my 36 week OB appointment, my blood pressure did not want to come down. The routine urine sample from the office detected a high amount of protein. This is a tell-tale sign of preeclampsia. My nurse practitioner instructed me to go to the hospital to do a 24 hr urine. This is necessary in order to accurately test the amount of protein in your urine and is a common test in expectant mothers that have preeclampsia. My husband was out of town working at the time, so I gave him a phone call and let him know that he needed to be on stand by. Something in me knew that I would be delivering soon.
That night my husband came home. I had him put all our hospital stuff into the truck and go ahead and take our oldest to her Mamaws. I soaked up every minute I could with my big girl because I knew the next time I seen her she’d be a big sis.
We took my urine back to the hospital the next day. To no surprise, I learned my protein levels were about 6 times higher than normal. This baby was coming.
The following day, at 3:32 pm. my beautiful 7.3 oz baby was born. She was absolutely perfect and had no complications from delivery. She was fully ready for life outside the womb at 37 weeks. I was so relieved she was okay.
My labor and delivery was not the hard part. Obviously giving birth is no easy task, however it went smooth as could be given the circumstances. The hard part was what happened right AFTER her delivery.
If you’ve ever struggled with preeclampsia, you know that the only way to resolve the complications associated with preeclampsia is to give birth. For me, my symptoms only got worse after birth. I had postpartum preeclampsia as well.
My nurses cleaned me up and got me ready to transport to the recovery side of the unit.
Everything was fine until I tried to get up out of my bed to use the restroom. They had took my catheter out and I felt like I had to bust. With the help of my nurse and aunt, I tried to get up and walk to the bathroom. However, after taking about 3 steps, this wave of dizziness and extreme nausea washed over me. I felt my knees start to buckle. I quickly backed up and sat down on the bedside. After regaining my strength, we tried again. This time we made it to the restroom. Here I realized that I could not pee. After several minutes, with the help of another nurse (3 total), we made the journey back to the bed. I got about halfway there when I felt myself start to go down. My aunt shouted at my husband to get behind me and be ready to catch. The 4 of them managed to get me back to my bed.
My heart was beating out of my chest. I felt like I was going to lose consciousness any second. I truly felt like I was dying. Panic crept in. All I could think is “I’m not ready.” And “I can’t leave my kids without a mother.” I knew I had to calm myself down but that was easier said than done.
One of the nurses ran and got the vital cart. They got my blood pressure and “the look” washed over her face. Ya know, the something-is-wrong look that they try to conceal. She rushed to call the doctor while my aunt, husband, and another nurse stayed with me. A few minutes later, my aunt checked my blood pressure again. She quickly turned the machine around so I couldn’t see. She later told me my blood pressure was around 180/120. I knew preeclampsia caused high bp’s, but that was the highest it had ever been!
I was scared, panicked, and confused. After 5 years of marriage, I can only think of a few occasions when my husband and I prayed together. In that moment, I called over to him to start praying over me.There in that hospital bed, my aunt, husband and I all joined hands and started praying. My poor husband was just as scared as I was at this point and he poured it all out to God.
About 10 minutes later, after checking my blood pressure every few minutes, it finally started to come down. I got a little color back in my face and finally started to feel like I could breathe again.
With careful watch, I got to hold my sweet baby for about 30 minutes. The nurses came back in to tell me that they needed to move me back to the birthing side so they could give me some magnesium. If you’ve never had mag, let me explain real quick. It basically makes you feel incredibly weak and very sleepy. It is used to help regulate blood pressure and reduce the risk of seizures. It also helps reduce the risk of eclampsia. (This is what they feared I was beginning to develop)
I moved back to the birthing side to begin this process. They gave me another catheter so I could finally pee. That was a whole different type of relief within itself. I also got some drugs for the pain.
My beautiful baby was wisked off to the nursery that night. As much as I wanted to love & bond with her, my poor body wouldn’t let me. Thankfully I had incredible nurses who nurtured me and her. I will never forget them.
The next morning, I thought that I would be a new woman after receiving the mag. Unfortunately it did not work out that way. My body continued to swell. My face was unrecognizable at this point. This issue wasn’t going to be resolved easily. My OB doctor came in and told me that I needed to receive blood. My hemoglobin was incredibly low. My blood pressure continued to bounce around. High one minute, and then low 5 minutes later. All I wanted was to call my oldest and cradle my new baby. My husband stayed by my side. I knew he was scared to leave me. Every time it seemed I was doing better, I took a turn and started to decline.
Thankfully, after getting a bag of blood in me, I finally started to feel better. Each day I began to feel a bit more like myself. Through some trial and error, they placed me on a blood pressure pill that somewhat regulated my crazy blood pressures. My swelling finally started to go down. My face started to look like my face. I could walk further distances without being out of breath and dizzy. My catheter came out a couple days later after my kidneys decided to start working again. I took the best shower I have ever had in my life.
Finally, after 6 days total in the hospital, I got to go home with my baby with several medications and strict instructions.
I honestly still cannot believe preeclampsia affected me this much. I cannot believe how uneducated I was when it came to this issue. Preeclampsia is very serious, and I am so thankful it was not worse than what it was!
The weeks following were a blur. I experienced many trips to the doctor trying to find a blood pressure medication that worked best for me, as I was still struggling to keep my bp down. My husband stayed off work for almost an entire month. We braved an ice storm and went without power in the midst of this chaos. My mental health started to take a huge toll. At one point I felt like I was actually going to lose my mind. I was also learning to breastfeed during this time which is a whole new obstacle in itself. Satan attacked my mind and body so incredibly hard.
Because you see friends, that’s what the enemy does. In our weakest, most vulnerable state- he throws the hardest punch. Satan does this because he also knows that in this same state, our God does His best work. Had it not been for that moment when I realized how frail my life truly was, I would not have realized that Christ had been missing from my life. I had pushed Him to the back burner and tried to live life MY way. Had Satan not attacked us when returning home, it would have been easy to push that experience out of my mind and return to my old ways of life.
There is no way I could have pulled through on my own. How did I pull through? Simple. HE pulled me through.
My husband and I made the decision to get our family back into church and bring God to the forefront of our marriage. He got us aligned with a church who has become family and He has brought our children into His presence.
However, the last 7 months have not been rainbows and glitter. We have experienced hardships & trials just like we did before. Every month as my sweet baby got older, it was difficult for me to think back to the day of her birth. I saw the day in flashes. I would close my eyes and see the look of panic across the nurses face, the crash cart that was brought and placed outside of my door, and the monitors being turned away from my view. I would feel this immense weight on my chest and would have to try to realign my thoughts to keep me from having a panic attack. But month after month, we continued to grow in our relationship with Christ. And now, I can finally look back on that day and see what God had intended for me all along.
Now, when I look back on that day, I see miracles.
It was a miracle that my baby was born completely fine.
It was a miracle that I didn’t have a stroke and end up in intensive care, or worse.
It was a miracle that God aligned those incredible people to be there with me, working on me, and encouraging me.
If you have stuck around to the end of this very real story I want you to ask yourself this:
Where is God in my life?
God completely changed my life in the midst of my biggest struggle. Can you imagine what he can do for YOU?
7 months of Evie Violet
still in the hospital; waiting for mama to recover leaving the hospital in the midst of our first big snow! this photo was taken when our power went out in the middle of the ice storm. We had her bundled up like a baby burrito! sister lovins newborn picture Easter 2021 sissy makes her smile the most and bath time! LOL her first swim 🙂 her first couple bites of baby food she loves to jump! most recent pic of her 🙂 such a happy girl!
This is so cute, wish her a happy birthday. As we grow older, it’s kinda hard to think of the old days.
Ooh how much I’ve cried reading this one 😭😭😭