Characteristics of a Strong-Willed Child

Strong-willed children often possess a variety of characteristics that serve as tell-tale signs that you may have a wild child on your hands. 

Your child may be a strong-willed child if they are….

• Wildly Passionate

When these kiddos love something they are not afraid to show it. My strong-willed five year old has recently started getting into leggos. Now, she finds a way to bring up leggos into almost every conversation. When a strong-willed child latches onto something they love, chances are they aren’t letting it go without a fight

• Boldly Outspoken 

If you’re looking for something to tell you how they really feel, these kids rarely hold back. That passion we talked about will likely be shown through many loud conversations. Spirited children hardly meet strangers and aren’t afraid to tell those strangers exactly what they think about them. They aren’t afraid to ask questions, especially the ones that are likely to make you cringe or die from embarrassment. For instance, my then three-old asked a lady why she was so orange…in the middle of a funeral. 

• Immensly Stubborn

I tried to think of a more pleasant sounding word than “stubborn,” but truthfully it’s the best I got. These kiddos are set in their ways from the get-go and they do NOT like to bend. It is the part of their personalities that will test your patience the most. For instance, I once sat at the dinner table with my spirited child for over four hours trying to get her to eat a mushroom. She won. This stubbornness often translates to defiance. 

• Crazy Energetic

Obviously all kids are energetic, but oftentimes these lively kids will have you begging for an off switch. It seems like they just never run out of energy! If, by chance, they do; all it takes is a short fifteen minute power nap to rev them back up. Trying to tire them out will often leave you feeling exhausted yourself. 

• Highly Sensitive

That passionate side of their personality also bleeds into sensitivity. They oftentimes wear their hearts on their sleeve. It’s easy to break their spirit. They see things differently than most kids and it’s easy for them to feel misunderstood. But also, they just seem to feel things on a deeper, more meaningful level. When someone or something they love hurts, they hurt too. 

• Next-Level Creative

These kids are uniquely brilliant in their own way. They see things different than us regular folk so they often times express themselves in different ways. The most rewarding part (for me) of having a strong-willed child is watching her creativity blossom. She comes up with things I would never think of. It is inspiring and amazing to watch. 

• Wildly Driven

While these spirited kids definitely have a wild side, they are also able to take all that energy and focus on a task (when they want to, of course). Their fierce determination coupled with a strong desire to succeed leads them to be very driven. Simply put: these kids can accomplish ANYTHING. I have never seen a strong-willed child lack motivation. If they want to, they will!

• Intensely Argumentative

Whenever these kids have a strong opinion on something, they will argue and defend it until the end. One of the hardest parts of raising a strong-willed child is the constant power struggle. They believe they are right, and they don’t want to even entertain the idea of them being wrong. They make sure their voice is heard. It often takes a lot of back-and-forth to get through to these kids and allow them to see things from an angle that is different from their own.

Strong-Willed Characteristics (Continued)

I added all of those pretty adjectives to exaggerate those characteristics of a strong-willed child simply because that’s exactly how strong-willed children are! It’s easy to say that most children are passionate, creative, driven, etc. but spirited children possess these qualities on a much larger scale. 

Everything about them is “over the top,” and I do not mean that in a bad way. 

What does having a strong-willed child mean?

A child has a strong will whenever they have a prominent sense of self and are fixed on doing something or accomplishing something. They have a strong sense of what they believe to be right and wrong. They are determined to the highest degree and are very independent. These characteristics are usually the first sign that your kid has a will that is not easily bent. Vocabulary.com has an excellent definition of what it means to be strong-willed.

What does this mean for YOU?

Well, mama, I’ll give it to you straight. Chances are raising them is going to be a struggle. You’re going to find yourself in a tizzy most days. You’re going to have some days where its noon and you feel like it should already be 9 pm because you’ve already fought with your daughter 6 times. You will have many power struggles. Unfortunately, days like this arise in every parents life. 

But I want you to know that these children grow up and become leaders, world-changers, CEO’s, artists, and visionaries. They are so special and needed so much in the world today. We will get through raising them, and then they’ll be bold enough to get out there and influence the world in the most amazing way.

Parenting the strong-willed child can be trying and difficult. However, I have found some tips along the way through repeated experience and communion with fellow parents. You can read those tips here.

Wrap up  

I have stated on this blog before that I believe God is blessing us with these spirited kids for a reason. Our children are growing up in a whole new era of human history. All of these characteristics are going to be needed in order to stand up against adversity and injustice in this fallen world. So, when you are at your wits end, struggling to raise your wild child and feeling like you’ve failed them, I want you to remember this: God gave these kids to you. He trusted you. He never said it would be easy and HE KNOWS that it is not. God is with you and He will guide you if you let Him.